Not having regrets is not the same as not having pain. When I started to write A Life Well Made I was in a relationship. As the book evolved I began to see so many things I needed to change to have exactly what I wrote about-a life well made. One of the changes I knew I needed to make was to let go of the person I was seeing because I knew my path was one I had to travel alone, at least for a while until I got to know who I really was.
The pain of breaking up with him was intense but necessary. I had to love myself more, be true to what the rest of my life held over his feelings, the pain and loss he felt. He understood but that didn’t change the fact that I hurt him.
I have no regrets breaking up with him. It was a necessary step in my evolution. But that doesn’t mean pain doesn’t accompany not having regrets.
You may be in a similar position where you know you love the person you are with but also feel pulled in another direction. I don’t mean toward another person rather toward the destiny you seek.
Life is Fluid and You must Learn to go with the Flow
Life is fluid, constantly changing and some people don’t want to change for fear of the unknown, losing the stability they have but if there is an undercurrent of dis-ease in that relationship it isn’t where you are supposed to be. You feel it and though you may not be able to put your finger on its source it permeates your relationship causing fights for no reason, dissatisfaction with life, work, children, depression, anger, projection of your feelings onto your partner/family.
A lot of people don’t want to implement change because change can be painful. You have to look inside yourself, at your goo, what is infecting you, making you unhappy, find the source and heal it.
One thing I have learned is healing and changing takes focus and if your focus is split in too many directions nothing gets done the way it is supposed to. You put in the effort but because the source (you not being on the path you are supposed to be on) is still a part of you nothing really changes or if it does change it doesn’t change for long before you find yourself back in your old patterns, repeating old habits.
I’m not advocating breaking up with your significant other to go traipse around Europe or go live with Siberian Monks to meditate. I am merely saying there are big decisions to consider when taking a path that leads to finding YOU.
Don’t make Changes Lightly
I don’t want you to take the changes you need to make lightly, they all become a part of your evolution and you must think deeply. Ask God or the Universe to help you define your path. Use your pendulum, ask specific questions, meditate on the answers and with an open mind. Ask yourself this hypothetical question: If a friend were in the same position and you were listening to the pros and cons of their decision, would you do the same thing? Or would you do it differently? The answer you come up with is your answer.
If I let myself think about the man I still love but had to let go I feel sad and almost want to go back because it would stop his pain but he has a path to follow as much as I do. I was in his life for a reason and one day he will be able to look back and see why our paths had to cross the way they did. He has a lesson to learn too.
He saved my life twice, that was his purpose among other things but honestly without having met him I would be dead, I’m serious. I owe this man my life and I pray someday I am able to repay the debt I owe him. I do not regret one single day I spent loving him.
Do not leave any situation with a heavy heart. The pain you feel, if it is the result of honest communication and actions, will lessen as you realize the decision you made was right for you. You owe it to yourself to be honest with those you love and that includes yourself.